This journey feels like it's been long, but in relevance to the complexity of the human that has developed during it, it seems so incredibly short, or timeless.
We saw our little guy a few days ago, when we had our third ultrasound of the pregnancy, to check size and blood flow due to my lower fundal height measurement. The tech was able to confirm for us without any doubt that he's a boy. He was adorable! He's upside-down, and constantly moving. She couldn't get a clear shot of his face, as his busy hands were covering it, but did get a view of his buttony nose (nostrils) and mouth from the front.. He also had one of his (very small and cute) feet very close to his face. I have a much better understanding of what he's doing now when I feel his bum against my ribs (almost constantly). We saw his spine, his ribs, his legs, his bladder, his strong heartbeat. We will find out how the ultrasound went when we see our obstetrician on Friday, but if there was a problem we should have already found out. Till then I am trying my best to eat as much as possible and gain those last five or six pounds for baby.
Yesterday was the baby shower my mom held for me with my sister's help, and it was super fun. There were lots of white and blue balloons, yellow ribbons, and a cute "baby shower" banner with baby Winnie the Pooh characters on it. Some lovely friends and family came over and we ate wonderful food (vegan "egg salad" and chickpea salad on baguette with sprouts, hummus, Tofutti cream cheese dip, tons of veggies and fruit, pasta salad, toasted seasoned cashews and peanuts, cookies, vegan chocolate dream squares, date squares, fruit crisp...) and drew names for beautiful gifts that my mom had put in a basket. I received so many amazing and thoughtful baby gifts, and even a hand blender and a cd from my husband who showed up later. Even though I feel so aware of the baby and the due date, after being surrounded by so much support it felt like this is really happening. Not that it takes much to get me emotional, but this definitely did. As I haven't felt a single contraction to date, it feels pretty strange to know (rather, hope) that in a matter of weeks my body will know to give birth to the baby. And then we will have a little boy, a boy who we won't ever not have again.
It is so great to be off work; I constantly feel the urge to just get all the last minute tasks done, all the nesting, buying the baby equipment, all the food prep, and the relaxation. Just getting over a cold today, which slowed me down a little, although I could of course still knit so everything was fine. One square to go for the blanket!
Baby boy, keep up all your kicking; you are doing so good. You have a very lucky family and a beautiful world ready to greet you. The night you are born, I will recite Goodnight Moon to you, okay? xoxo Mama oxoxo
Now seems like a great time to start documenting the overwhelmingly awesome adventure of our first petit bébé. While I set up the blog weeks ago, I have since scored employment after a summer of weathering the twists and throws aspiring market-gardeners must endure, and changed living locations in addition to the regularly scheduled fatigue of the first trimester. I would really like to make it a priority to sit down every evening or two and record this experience for both my future self and perhaps my offspring, as it could very well be our only one. And it’s true. No offense to anyone else, but I don’t think we’ll be ones to over-populate.
As far as I know, the zygote first began to divide itself into the many cells which form a blastocyst around July 15. We didn’t learn of the news until the second week of August, when I was six weeks pregnant. I remember the conversation we’d had about three weeks earlier; when we discussed the fact that a full time market garden, no house, and a baby did not mix whatsoever, and we finally agreed that we should hold off another year and focus on getting our farm together because it just wasn’t possible to do both. My husband, as he got out of the car, said, “You’re definitely going to get pregnant now, because of this.” As it turned out, I already was.
I also remember the silly argument we were having on the way back from the drugstore. It was at least a week after my period was due and I’d requested my husband buy me a test on his way back from the car appointment that morning because I was holding my pee. For some (silly) reason I don’t enjoy buying tests. Although he insisted he doesn’t care and wouldn’t have minded buying one, he conveniently forgot (that's how it seemed to me) because he didn’t hear me say I was going to wait to use the bathroom till he returned. After running late and returning from the appointment 45 minutes after I’d had pancakes ready, and after me holding my pee through breakfast (my mom was in the next room), I finally asked him if he’d remembered. He had not. We proceeded to drive back to the drug store and I bought the test. We squabbled about this the entire way home. I just wished he had remembered. I had to pee so badly! The strangest part about it all was that I kind of knew from my lack of usual symptoms that my period was not going to show up anytime soon. Obviously, the “fight” ended as soon as I took the test.
We were living at my parents’ house at the time. I told them about 10 minutes after I’d found out. They didn’t know how to take it at first because the look of shock still hadn’t dissolved from my face. We assured them we were extremely happy. How do you describe such a weird, crazy feeling as just “happy”, though? My main feeling for the first few weeks of pregnancy, and one that I still get now, is one of disbelief. Aside from the strange symptoms which included no period, an overall sense of abdominal heaviness, loss of appetite, sore breasts, peeing lots, and incredible sense of smell, how could I know that a baby human could really be forming in there? It felt weird telling people that there was when I couldn’t be sure myself. For the first two or three decades of your life, you see only other people having babies and don’t truly know that it could really happen to you. To be honest, I can’t believe how babies can seem so incredibly commonplace on the one hand, yet so overwhelmingly unreal on the other. I know this feeling has only arisen because it is now my own experience. But I must assume, then, that even though some women may seem to be veterans in the baby making practise and make it seem like it’s no big deal, they still possess the same feeling of incomprehensible awe each time. But right now I admit I am really only fascinated by first time pregnancies, and in particular vegan pregnancies. I’m sure the first time thing will change, too. Not the vegan part!
To catch up a bit on the first trimester so far:
Shortly after finding out about the baby, my appetite took a major dive. As one who is of the slightly underweight division, this dismayed me a bit, although I know it’s normal to be unable to eat and even to lose weight during the first trimester.
During weeks seven and eight I desired only fruit. Berries, peaches, dried fruit, watermelon, grapes, apples, bananas and kiwis. Salty rice crackers were also tolerable later in the day as well as miso broth, plain noodles and occasionally fried mushrooms on toast. While very nutritious, unfortunately these foods did not really last long before digesting and this was also the time that some nausea set in. Actually, the nausea was mostly coming from an antibiotic I was put on in week six for a urinary tract infection, which brought me to the ER, where I got to have an ultrasound, delightfully confirming the pregnancy visually.
After I was off the antibiotics for several days, the nausea subsided a bit, which worried me a little at first until I figured out what the cause was. During the following weeks 9, 10, and 11, I was able to eat much more, which helped me to feel way better.
One of the things I like so far is I never have any trouble deciding what I want to eat. Somehow pregnancy tells me exactly what I want at any given moment. It’s not always the healthiest choice in the world, but I’m trying to make sure my calories are high enough as well.
Cravings? While I was feeling the most sick, I will admit that the one non-vegan food I craved was cheese. The kind that goes on a junk-food type giant pizza slice. Just regular cheese pizza. Am I going to eat cheese? Heck no. I am going to be a mother. Am I going to consume the milk of a cow, a totally different creature (who is also a mother) whose body made the milk forher child, just like mine will? The cow whose baby was taken from her before it was ready and she fought and cried over it in despair? If this sounds silly to you, have you ever watched a mother cow and her baby? She is fiercely protective. So am I going to spend money supporting the production of dairy from cows who are artificially kept making milk for humans long after their babies are born and gone, just because my brain is telling me I would enjoy the taste of a past comfort food? Considering the fact that I can be healthier by choosing plant-based, naturally nutritionally dense foods…Don’t think so. Consuming cheese would most likely make me feel much worse, mentally and physically.
I HAVE been eating Daiya non-dairy cheese, which makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I also made a cashew cheese log which is excellent when one fancies cheese and crackers.
Once I was in week 10 or so, certain foods began to taste so much better. OMG chocolate soymilk! OMG oatcakes! OMG garlic toast! OMG, miso soba noodle soup! OMG, chickpea salad! I really must note this recipe I found through C’est la Vegan for chickpea “tuna salad”. It has become a favourite of mine over the last year, and it jumped into my mind as a great pregnancy food, full of fibre and protein (and no mercury!) and a great vehicle for tasty Vegenaise. One of the ways I used it was to make old fashioned “Chickpea Melts” with Daiya and pickles. I don’t have the picture I took right now so will probably post that and the link to the recipe soon.
Here is the recipe for my most favourite soup in the world. From Sarah Kramer’s La Dolce Vegan, this soup is so simple and can be made in about half an hour. We have this often and it never fails to be incredibly comforting and savoury. You must make it!
Ingredients:
4 cups water
½ sheet nori (seaweed), cut or torn into small pieces
2 tbsp tamari (I use Bragg's)
1 cup soba noodles
½ block firm or extra firm tofu, cubed
olive oil
2 cups bok choy (optional- I don't usually even bother with this)
3 tbsp miso
Rinse the tofu and press it with a paper towel to dry. Cut into 1 inch cubes and cook by frying in oil in a pan until golden.
While the tofu is cooking, bring water to a boil in a medium soup pot. Add the seaweed and tamari. Remove from heat and let sit 15 minutes. While soup stock is steeping, bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil and cook the soba noodles. Once done, drain, rinse well, and add to soup stock. Add tofu and bok choy and return to heat for 2-3 minutes. In a small bowl, stir together the miso with a few spoonfuls of the hot soup stock. Stir until miso is smooth and add to the soup. Stir well and serve immediately.
Note: Miso is rich in flavour, protein, and B vitamins. Boiling miso will destroy its healthy attributes so stir it into your dish in the last few minutes before serving.
By the way, the vegan baby is the size of a medium plum these days (we are nearing 12 weeks). OMG! I am already so proud of the little androgynous creature for its progress. I was excited to be able to hear a bit of the heartbeat (a major thing on my mind!) the other day at our first pre-natal appointment. Otherwise, I am savouring the stages of growth and love how teeny it still is.
