You have no idea what’s coming for you. While your tiny body and your brain are growing at an incredibly fast rate, you only know the quiet little world where you exist right now. I don’t know what you’ve been up to exactly, but from what I’ve read I can guess that you’re moving around like crazy with those little arms, legs and digits of yours, and practising your swallowing. While I’ve only known you to be in there for about 6 weeks and my belly hasn't gotten all that much bigger yet, it brings me unimaginable delight to know of your presence and I am cheering for you in your progress of growth into someone we will get to know for the rest of our lives. Maybe you’ve heard your dad’s voice lately, introducing himself to you or singing you little songs. You should get used to the songs!
There are a lot of people thinking about you with great happiness and waiting eagerly to meet you and hold you, especially your grandparents. When tiny little people are born, particularly in your own family, it’s hard not to want to hold them. There’s also a small dog who will teach you about being silly, and the color “golden”. Someday my mom, your Nana, might give you yummy treats and teach you about food and how it nourishes our bodies, and your grandfather, my dad (who doesn’t know what he would like you to call him yet) might read or tell you stories or invent imaginary games with you. Your Nanny (your dad’s mom) will love to take you for walks and sing to you, and I’m not sure about what your other Grandpa will do with you yet! It all remains an endless chain of surprises to come and all we know for sure is that you will be given infinite love, play, encouragement and protection. It is a big, big world and I am looking forward to both the pleasure and pain of watching you find your way around in it.
Thank-you for not making me very sick, I appreciate it very much. Though, while I would like to be eating lots of salads and smoothies to help you be the healthiest you can possibly be, so far you have made me want mostly bread, salty and sweet foods. Don’t worry, I am taking a multivitamin to make sure you get everything you need and will eat more and more veggies as my pregnancy with you goes on. You are my little vegan! I have heard your heartbeat and know you’re in there for sure because I have been getting more and more hungry; these days I need to eat for the two of us every hour or two! Though I’ve had more energy lately, some days I am still exhausted. Last night I had to sleep for 11 hours. I never mind any of the symptoms though, because I know the cause. However, I think we might need more water, so I will work on that. I also can’t wait to move into our new apartment (where you might live when you get here), so that I can cook whatever crazy thing comes to mind.
I have no idea what you will look like, and right now I love it like that. In only 8 weeks we might find out if you are a boy or a girl. I want you to know that it doesn’t matter; I don’t feel like I could be any more bewildered, mystified, or satisfied about the creation of you either way.
A dim, breezy world greeted me this morning as I opened the deck door to let the pup out for his business. As I sipped my hot chocolate and the orchard came into focus beneath an arrangement of dark and swirly clouds, I realized once again how magical 6:30 am is. Especially this time of year, when tree leaves get crispier and change their hues, and the wind cools down. It seems more likely than ever that faeries hide in the woods and everything breathes with renewed purpose. How fitting that it should be the first day of fall.
Keeping in theme with the harvest, the “plum” has grown rapidly in the last week, and should be 2 inches in length now, according to my research. I now like to think of it as a tiny peach or one of those big Brussels sprouts. The l'il peach knows how to swallow now, and it practises- it was my great amusement to learn just now- by swallowing the amniotic fluid. Good job, crazy little one!
How much energy it must be taking to form this little life! I find on my days off my fatigue catches up to me and slaps me in the behind, making me sleepier the more I relax. On work days I get caught up in the rush of things and notice the tiredness less, if that makes sense. Speaking of sleep, one weird symptom I’ve been experiencing lately is incredibly bizarre and vivid dreams.
As one needs to eat more calories at this point in the pregnancy, (the one and only secret to staving off any nausea, I have learned!) I have been trying to come up with breakfasts and snacks that don’t involve too much bread. It is so easy to just make toast or a sandwich when I need more food! But even though I take a prenatal multivitamin, it is important to me to avoid wheat overload and make sure I consume a wide variety of plant foods. Ideas that have worked great for me:
-Oatmeal with almond milk, maple syrup and cane sugar
The good thing about a lot of these, such as oatmeal, soups and salads is you can make them ahead and keep them in the fridge for multiple uses.
I shall now feature the recipe for the “Chickpea Melts” I made the other day. They are way more appetizing than perhaps they look (it’s a Blackberry photo). I am honestly quite addicted to this stuff.
1 15oz can Chickpeas, rinsed well
3-4 Tbs Vegenaise (vegan mayo)
2 tsp Fresh Lemon Juice
1 tsp Mustard
1 Tbs Nutritional Yeast
1/2 tsp Paprika (sweet, hot, or smoked)
1/2 tsp Salt
Fresh Cracked Black Pepper
Mash all the ingredients to form a chunky spread.
Spread the chickpea salad on slices of bread. Top with your favorite vegan cheese, and bake at 350º F for 10 minutes. Broil to finish, serve immediately.
Now seems like a great time to start documenting the overwhelmingly awesome adventure of our first petit bébé. While I set up the blog weeks ago, I have since scored employment after a summer of weathering the twists and throws aspiring market-gardeners must endure, and changed living locations in addition to the regularly scheduled fatigue of the first trimester. I would really like to make it a priority to sit down every evening or two and record this experience for both my future self and perhaps my offspring, as it could very well be our only one. And it’s true. No offense to anyone else, but I don’t think we’ll be ones to over-populate.
As far as I know, the zygote first began to divide itself into the many cells which form a blastocyst around July 15. We didn’t learn of the news until the second week of August, when I was six weeks pregnant. I remember the conversation we’d had about three weeks earlier; when we discussed the fact that a full time market garden, no house, and a baby did not mix whatsoever, and we finally agreed that we should hold off another year and focus on getting our farm together because it just wasn’t possible to do both. My husband, as he got out of the car, said, “You’re definitely going to get pregnant now, because of this.” As it turned out, I already was.
I also remember the silly argument we were having on the way back from the drugstore. It was at least a week after my period was due and I’d requested my husband buy me a test on his way back from the car appointment that morning because I was holding my pee. For some (silly) reason I don’t enjoy buying tests. Although he insisted he doesn’t care and wouldn’t have minded buying one, he conveniently forgot (that's how it seemed to me) because he didn’t hear me say I was going to wait to use the bathroom till he returned. After running late and returning from the appointment 45 minutes after I’d had pancakes ready, and after me holding my pee through breakfast (my mom was in the next room), I finally asked him if he’d remembered. He had not. We proceeded to drive back to the drug store and I bought the test. We squabbled about this the entire way home. I just wished he had remembered. I had to pee so badly! The strangest part about it all was that I kind of knew from my lack of usual symptoms that my period was not going to show up anytime soon. Obviously, the “fight” ended as soon as I took the test.
We were living at my parents’ house at the time. I told them about 10 minutes after I’d found out. They didn’t know how to take it at first because the look of shock still hadn’t dissolved from my face. We assured them we were extremely happy. How do you describe such a weird, crazy feeling as just “happy”, though? My main feeling for the first few weeks of pregnancy, and one that I still get now, is one of disbelief. Aside from the strange symptoms which included no period, an overall sense of abdominal heaviness, loss of appetite, sore breasts, peeing lots, and incredible sense of smell, how could I know that a baby human could really be forming in there? It felt weird telling people that there was when I couldn’t be sure myself. For the first two or three decades of your life, you see only other people having babies and don’t truly know that it could really happen to you. To be honest, I can’t believe how babies can seem so incredibly commonplace on the one hand, yet so overwhelmingly unreal on the other. I know this feeling has only arisen because it is now my own experience. But I must assume, then, that even though some women may seem to be veterans in the baby making practise and make it seem like it’s no big deal, they still possess the same feeling of incomprehensible awe each time. But right now I admit I am really only fascinated by first time pregnancies, and in particular vegan pregnancies. I’m sure the first time thing will change, too. Not the vegan part!
To catch up a bit on the first trimester so far:
Shortly after finding out about the baby, my appetite took a major dive. As one who is of the slightly underweight division, this dismayed me a bit, although I know it’s normal to be unable to eat and even to lose weight during the first trimester.
During weeks seven and eight I desired only fruit. Berries, peaches, dried fruit, watermelon, grapes, apples, bananas and kiwis. Salty rice crackers were also tolerable later in the day as well as miso broth, plain noodles and occasionally fried mushrooms on toast. While very nutritious, unfortunately these foods did not really last long before digesting and this was also the time that some nausea set in. Actually, the nausea was mostly coming from an antibiotic I was put on in week six for a urinary tract infection, which brought me to the ER, where I got to have an ultrasound, delightfully confirming the pregnancy visually.
After I was off the antibiotics for several days, the nausea subsided a bit, which worried me a little at first until I figured out what the cause was. During the following weeks 9, 10, and 11, I was able to eat much more, which helped me to feel way better.
One of the things I like so far is I never have any trouble deciding what I want to eat. Somehow pregnancy tells me exactly what I want at any given moment. It’s not always the healthiest choice in the world, but I’m trying to make sure my calories are high enough as well.
Cravings? While I was feeling the most sick, I will admit that the one non-vegan food I craved was cheese. The kind that goes on a junk-food type giant pizza slice. Just regular cheese pizza. Am I going to eat cheese? Heck no. I am going to be a mother. Am I going to consume the milk of a cow, a totally different creature (who is also a mother) whose body made the milk forher child, just like mine will? The cow whose baby was taken from her before it was ready and she fought and cried over it in despair? If this sounds silly to you, have you ever watched a mother cow and her baby? She is fiercely protective. So am I going to spend money supporting the production of dairy from cows who are artificially kept making milk for humans long after their babies are born and gone, just because my brain is telling me I would enjoy the taste of a past comfort food? Considering the fact that I can be healthier by choosing plant-based, naturally nutritionally dense foods…Don’t think so. Consuming cheese would most likely make me feel much worse, mentally and physically.
I HAVE been eating Daiya non-dairy cheese, which makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I also made a cashew cheese log which is excellent when one fancies cheese and crackers.
Once I was in week 10 or so, certain foods began to taste so much better. OMG chocolate soymilk! OMG oatcakes! OMG garlic toast! OMG, miso soba noodle soup! OMG, chickpea salad! I really must note this recipe I found through C’est la Vegan for chickpea “tuna salad”. It has become a favourite of mine over the last year, and it jumped into my mind as a great pregnancy food, full of fibre and protein (and no mercury!) and a great vehicle for tasty Vegenaise. One of the ways I used it was to make old fashioned “Chickpea Melts” with Daiya and pickles. I don’t have the picture I took right now so will probably post that and the link to the recipe soon.
Here is the recipe for my most favourite soup in the world. From Sarah Kramer’s La Dolce Vegan, this soup is so simple and can be made in about half an hour. We have this often and it never fails to be incredibly comforting and savoury. You must make it!
Ingredients:
4 cups water
½ sheet nori (seaweed), cut or torn into small pieces
2 tbsp tamari (I use Bragg's)
1 cup soba noodles
½ block firm or extra firm tofu, cubed
olive oil
2 cups bok choy (optional- I don't usually even bother with this)
3 tbsp miso
Rinse the tofu and press it with a paper towel to dry. Cut into 1 inch cubes and cook by frying in oil in a pan until golden.
While the tofu is cooking, bring water to a boil in a medium soup pot. Add the seaweed and tamari. Remove from heat and let sit 15 minutes. While soup stock is steeping, bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil and cook the soba noodles. Once done, drain, rinse well, and add to soup stock. Add tofu and bok choy and return to heat for 2-3 minutes. In a small bowl, stir together the miso with a few spoonfuls of the hot soup stock. Stir until miso is smooth and add to the soup. Stir well and serve immediately.
Note: Miso is rich in flavour, protein, and B vitamins. Boiling miso will destroy its healthy attributes so stir it into your dish in the last few minutes before serving.
By the way, the vegan baby is the size of a medium plum these days (we are nearing 12 weeks). OMG! I am already so proud of the little androgynous creature for its progress. I was excited to be able to hear a bit of the heartbeat (a major thing on my mind!) the other day at our first pre-natal appointment. Otherwise, I am savouring the stages of growth and love how teeny it still is.
I suppose I shall begin my story with the fact that five years ago I made the decision to stop consuming animals.
I happened to be in Western Europe at the time, Holland to be exact. I had done some online research earlier that year, still living in Canada, and had become a vegetarian. While I grew up eating lots of salads, fruits and vegetables and had the occasional notion that I could likely eat vegetarian if I were to “box myself in” to that label (this I arrogantly said to my animal-loving sister when she went veggie as a teenager), I had never before felt like there was any reason to give up meat or dairy, because I had always been told that they were very healthy and important as part of a “balanced” diet. I suppose I also prided myself on the fact that I wasn’t hard to please when it came to food. The truth of meat being the body of an animal seldom bothered me because I had accepted the culturally perpetuated notion that it was necessary, and I felt secure in identifying myself as the “norm”. Soymilk made me angry, health foods were pretentious, and milk was something I’d had every day since I was little so I couldn’t understand why some people chose to avoid it in favour of such weird things.
In 2005 I was 18, done with high school, and had never left Canada. I saved up and traveled to Guyana with Youth Challenge International. During the time I spent there with about 10 other people hailing from Canada, Australia and Guyana, my views of food and cooking took a complete overhaul. I had always been into baking, but the two month stay in a one-room school dorm building with no electricity, a propane stove, a very simple food reserve, a scant grocery budget, and a revolving system that shared cooking duties equally among everyone (and almost no recipes!) quickly made me realize I knew next to nothing about cooking. Fortunately, it was done in pairs, and by the time our community development project was over, I had learned to make meals using ingredients like rice, pasta, garlic, onions, beans, lentils and local vegetables. The diet was, mostly due to caution around using any dairy or meat products in a foreign, tropical climate, almost completely vegetarian. There was also a vegan in my group. She was the first vegan I had ever met, and though we didn’t talk very much about why she had decided to be one (or maybe I just didn't listen very much), I couldn’t help but observe her eating habits in comparison with everyone else’s. Other than setting aside her portion before adding milk powder to the porridge, for example, or withholding the egg from a peanut stir-fry, there was very little that she couldn’t eat that the rest of us could. I had always rejected veganism because I thought it was extreme, yet I could see that this person definitely didn’t go hungry, and seemed to thrive with an enthusiasm for food that I couldn’t have imagined possible.
I guess this unique experience stayed with me because when I got back to Canada and began waking up to very uncomfortable stomach pains at night a few days after I had resumed eating dairy and meat, it didn’t take me long to figure out what the problem was. My digestive system had gotten so used to plant-based foods that it was rejecting the sudden attack of animal protein I had inflicted upon it.
Shortly after I returned I moved in with my cousin and aunt for a few months to work and save money for my next adventure; majestic Europe. I had been limiting my dairy intake since I’d returned, and my cousin had always been interested in animal rights but had never actually walked the walk. We decided to take the last step and find out the truth for ourselves. At this point, with the knowledge and sense of well-being I’d gained from my overseas experience, I was beginning to feel deep down that the healthiest thing I could do for my body was to stop eating meat and dairy once and for all…but I just needed a final push of some kind.
We began reading online literature on how the meat and dairy industries operate. I can’t believe how gullible I was! I don’t think I really even knew that they were big industries, perhaps due to the dreamy stories I grew up hearing about sunny happy farms with green pastures where animals roamed free. I proceeded to spend an entire afternoon watching undercover video footage of how chickens, pigs, cows, turkeys and other animals are raised on giant factory “farms” in captivity without daylight, separated from their parents/babies, fed hormones and antibiotics to stimulate unnaturally fast growth, are physically abused, and finally carted off to the slaughterhouse, many dying along the way, where they are brutally and carelessly murdered and butchered.
I don’t feel the need to share in great detail what happens to the “farmed” animals we eat; the information is out there in excess. I will list some links and books at the end of this entry, and I strongly encourage you to check them out if you are thinking of learning more about where “food” comes from. (See notes*)
With this information I had finally come upon in my search for the best way to eat, the tears that streamed down my face as I watched lives being taken away from terrified, unwilling individuals who were helpless and unhealthy to begin with were the only answer I needed. Not only did I no longer wish to consume the bodies of these beings in the interest of being healthier, I simply could not tolerate the idea of ever supporting such a purely evil industry again. The more I read, the more excited I became to know that there was an alternative world out there where I could be actively DOING something to fight back against this awful ignorance we are plagued with. A world where I could create positivity within myself by making my own choices each day and being an example of the changes I wanted to see in the world, just as my Australian friend had been an example to me in Guyana. It made me ecstatic to know that I could be completely healthy eating plant-based foods, and I spent every spare hour looking up exciting new recipes and going shopping to try new and different ingredients. It was all I could think about! Perhaps many people despise reading labels, but it became a great hobby of mine. I wanted to make sure I was only eating food I felt good about. For the first time in my life I felt passionate about what I ate, and thus began my great love of cooking.
I remained an excited almost-vegan for a few months, breaking my news early on to some slightly concerned parents, whom I emailed web articles on the different animal industries (they ended up giving up meat a few months later and are now passionate vegans!). I obligingly ate dairy when eating with my family when I returned for a few weeks before departing for Europe, and when I arrived in Europe with my non-vegetarian friend at her non-vegetarian relatives’ house where we would live for three months, I continued to eat dairy throughout the stay as the language and culture barrier would have made it very difficult for a new (and poor) vegan to find much to eat. By the end of our stay with those lovely and kind-hearted people, though, I was ready to assert my free will, despite the fact that Europe is full of meat and dairy farms, and veganism is far from normal (almost unheard of in rural areas!). I backpacked through Europe as an official vegan, doing my own grocery shopping and completely taking care of myself for the first time in my life, and since then I haven’t looked back.
Shortly after returning from Europe in late 2006, I met the man who would become my husband. He was working as an intern at a free-school where my parents worked, and I had learned of this dude during my weekly phone calls with my mother from overseas. When I got home and met him in person, let’s just say I wasn’t impressed by the blatant matchmaking spell my dear mother was trying to cast upon the two of us. It’s not that I couldn’t see how cool he was, it’s just that I was a world traveler and was getting used to making my own decisions. So despite the fact that he was a vegetarian, I rejected his dinner invitation. Besides, I had an elaborate fantasy built of a perfect guy who would be almost impossible to find, so it couldn’t be this easy. We became co-workers, but a year passed before I realized I was being stupid. This guy challenged me on all my neurotic reservations, told me absolutely everything on his mind, hatched creative plots with me, and truly showed he cared about my well being. I enjoyed spending time with him immensely. On a full moon in June of 2010, we were married in a beautiful field on a mountain by the sacred, happy energy of friends and family. Shortly after that we decided that with the messy state the world seems to be headed for right now, farming good, healthy food was in our future, and we spent the summer of 2011 learning about veggie gardening, perhaps the hard way. Around the time we had realized our harvest was going to be scant this season and we’d better find employment for the fall and winter to save for next year’s endeavour, we found out our next bit of news, which you’ve probably guessed from the blog title. If it’s necessary to add, we are ecstatic to be working on yet another creative experience together, and that is raising our very own vegan baby.
For me, veganism is the simplest and most powerful path I can take toward asserting myself against the dark powers that have such a strong hold on the minds of humans in the western world, causing us to have such disrespect for the other life forms who share the Earth with us that we claim them as our own. And to a degree, that disrespect is innocently acquired! Having been subject to this propaganda in the past, I understand the other side and know, more than anything else, that the lifestyle I now choose is a lifetime decision. And faced with the fact that I am going to be someone’s mother, it means even more to me that I lead as an example of what I have found to be the truth.
Bring on the vegan cravings and recipes!
Notes* Great resources on the food industry and why veganism is healthy:
